| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2009|12:58 am] |
"You wanna go?"
"Yeah, sure."
"It's exit 105."
"We are...passing...113."
"Yay!"
...later...
"Okay, I've got the dildo. Do you want anything?"
"Nah, Im good."
"How about a cockring?"
"Um, sure."
"Alright!"
...later...
"This new lube is fantastic!"
"Im a bit preoccupied."
"The cockring won't fit."
"I told you, you're supposed to put it on BEFORE you get hard, dipshit."
"Fuck you."
...later...
"I got it on. Let's do this."
...later...
"Well, that was fun."
"That looks weird."
"Time to take it off..."
"Oh."
"Oh."
"That's not good."
"Yeah, that's definitely not good."
"Does it hurt?"
"No, but it's not something I wanna wait-and-see with."
"Who're you calling?"
"The doctor."
...later...
"It looks like it's just a hematoma beneath the skin. There looks to be no lasting damage to the corpus cavernosa, so you should be able to have intercourse in a couple of days. Any questions?"
"Nah, thanks doc."
LESSON: DO NOT USE STEEL COCKRINGS. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2009|11:53 am] |
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An easy way to identify the quality of a person is in the quality of their vices. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2009|11:27 am] |
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I'd recommend Disillusion: Back to times of Splendor to anyone who likes melody. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2009|10:25 am] |
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Have you ever noticed the people usually claiming the world is overpopulated are also the type of people who go out of their way to donate food to starving children? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2009|03:18 pm] |
Modern conservatism is a bankrupt ideology.
Discuss. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2009|12:00 am] |
 Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!
Okay, cliffnotes: Im starting a business. It needs a logo. My name is Thorium Technologies, LLC. These are the drafts I've made, and you can mix/match characteristics you like. #3, but with the font of 9/10, for example.\
Any help would be appreciated. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2009|08:58 am] |
It would appear that my employers are conspiring to have me fired.
Note: Seek alternative employment. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|01:19 am] |
this is why i date her:
( BUG )
These discussions are common. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2008|12:34 pm] |
It occured to me how insipid nu-metal is while I was eating pita and hummus.
Here's a quote from KoRn...
[Fred:] Too bad I got your beans in my bag, stuck-up sucka',
Korny motherfucka'. Takin' over flows is the Limp pimp,
need a Bizkit to save this crew from Jon Davis.
I'm gonna drop a little east side skill, ya best step
back 'cuz I'm 'a kill, I'm 'a kill.
So watcha thinking Mr. Raggedy man?
Doin' all you can to look like Raggedy Ann.
[Jon:] I'll Check you out punk, yes I know you feel it.
You look like one of those dancers from the Hanson video,
you little faggot ho. Please give me some shit to work with,
'cuz right now I'm all it kid, suck my
dick kid, like your daddy did.
That's ridiculous. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2008|04:12 pm] |
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If the president asked that every man and woman purchase a gun(tax credit in doing so), train themselves in their use(self reports? I dunno, logistics later), and engage in a fairly regular exercise regimen(see prior), and in doing all of this, could spend billions less on military, instead focusing on education, food and shelter for the homeless, would you? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|10:12 pm] |
No food, no money, no booze, no drugs.
And yet, life is good. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2008|02:16 pm] |
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I wonder how much money parents should make to instill that lower-middle-class nonmaterialistic attitude into their children, but also to have enough to make their lives comfortable and money-trouble free. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|09:34 am] |
I swear to god my psych professor looks like the illegitimate child of Rainn Wilson and Bill Hader.
Spoilers: I can't tell either of those two dudes apart, except if I have their separate wiki tabs open. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2008|04:36 pm] |
Henceforth, it shall no longer be seen as cripplingly nerdy to think Carrie Fisher circa Blues Brothers was hot. It shall remain cripplingly nerdy, however, to fantasize about her in the Jabba The Hut outfit from Star Wars.
That is all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2008|01:31 am] |
One reason I hate college:
Drunk girl, 1:32 AM: Oh god, I feel so sick...Hurk, I have to be up in time for Church tomorrow! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|01:27 pm] |
Vices, in order of abuse:
1) Energy Drinks
2) Internet
2a?) Porn
4) sleeping late
5) Fatty foods.
I dont know why I'm posting this, just felt compelled to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|08:35 pm] |
Oh, if anyone is looking for an apartment for fall 2008, please ask me.
Seriously. |
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