?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Karma! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Sober

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

(no subject) [Jun. 8th, 2009|12:58 am]
Sober
"You wanna go?"
"Yeah, sure."
"It's exit 105."
"We are...passing...113."
"Yay!"

...later...

"Okay, I've got the dildo. Do you want anything?"
"Nah, Im good."
"How about a cockring?"
"Um, sure."
"Alright!"

...later...

"This new lube is fantastic!"
"Im a bit preoccupied."
"The cockring won't fit."
"I told you, you're supposed to put it on BEFORE you get hard, dipshit."
"Fuck you."

...later...

"I got it on. Let's do this."

...later...

"Well, that was fun."
"That looks weird."
"Time to take it off..."
"Oh."
"Oh."
"That's not good."
"Yeah, that's definitely not good."
"Does it hurt?"
"No, but it's not something I wanna wait-and-see with."
"Who're you calling?"
"The doctor."

...later...

"It looks like it's just a hematoma beneath the skin. There looks to be no lasting damage to the corpus cavernosa, so you should be able to have intercourse in a couple of days. Any questions?"
"Nah, thanks doc."

LESSON: DO NOT USE STEEL COCKRINGS.
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [May. 27th, 2009|11:53 am]
Sober
An easy way to identify the quality of a person is in the quality of their vices.
LinkLeave a comment

(no subject) [May. 9th, 2009|11:27 am]
Sober
I'd recommend Disillusion: Back to times of Splendor to anyone who likes melody.
Link3 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [May. 1st, 2009|10:25 am]
Sober
Have you ever noticed the people usually claiming the world is overpopulated are also the type of people who go out of their way to donate food to starving children?
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2009|03:18 pm]
Sober
Modern conservatism is a bankrupt ideology.

Discuss.
Link4 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Feb. 18th, 2009|12:00 am]
Sober
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

QuickPost Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

Okay, cliffnotes: Im starting a business. It needs a logo. My name is Thorium Technologies, LLC. These are the drafts I've made, and you can mix/match characteristics you like. #3, but with the font of 9/10, for example.\

Any help would be appreciated.
Link5 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Feb. 3rd, 2009|08:58 am]
Sober
It would appear that my employers are conspiring to have me fired.

Note: Seek alternative employment.
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Dec. 7th, 2008|01:19 am]
Sober
this is why i date her:

BUGCollapse )

These discussions are common.
Link4 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Dec. 4th, 2008|12:34 pm]
Sober
It occured to me how insipid nu-metal is while I was eating pita and hummus.

Here's a quote from KoRn...


[Fred:] Too bad I got your beans in my bag, stuck-up sucka',
Korny motherfucka'. Takin' over flows is the Limp pimp,
need a Bizkit to save this crew from Jon Davis.
I'm gonna drop a little east side skill, ya best step
back 'cuz I'm 'a kill, I'm 'a kill.
So watcha thinking Mr. Raggedy man?
Doin' all you can to look like Raggedy Ann.
[Jon:] I'll Check you out punk, yes I know you feel it.
You look like one of those dancers from the Hanson video,
you little faggot ho. Please give me some shit to work with,
'cuz right now I'm all it kid, suck my
dick kid, like your daddy did.

That's ridiculous.
Link2 comments|Leave a comment

(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2008|04:12 pm]
Sober
If the president asked that every man and woman purchase a gun(tax credit in doing so), train themselves in their use(self reports? I dunno, logistics later), and engage in a fairly regular exercise regimen(see prior), and in doing all of this, could spend billions less on military, instead focusing on education, food and shelter for the homeless, would you?
Link1 comment|Leave a comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]